It has come to my attention that Mr. Jesus is a very shifty character with very weak morals. In fact, Metal’s values are so low that Mr. Jesus would step all over their own mother for small personal gains. What Mr. Jesus practices is the moral equivalent of going to a junior high and handing out AK-47s to the children as they exit! ‘Sure,’ you say, ‘Mr. Jesus is not harming me any! Why should I care?’ Why should you care about Mr. Jesus’s haneous crimes against humanity? Here is why!
Let me begin by saying that Metal was once a very close and personal friend of mine — until Metal stabbed me in the back and slept with my spouse! Metal then went on to steal my credit card and purcase seventeen cases of adult materials off of the internet. When I attempted to purchase a fishing pole at a local Wal-Mart my credit was rejected; it was embarassing for both me and my date.
Now don’t get me wrong here, but Mr. Jesus is a threat to the national security of our country. I personally saw Mr. Jesus smuggling a fingernail file onboard a flight — to, get this, FILE THEIR FINGERNAILS! I feel violated, as if someone pulled down my metaphorical pants in front of a large crowd of my peers.
Mr. Jesus’s malevolent practices extend far beyond personal assault; they reach even our animal friends. Mr. Jesus is against animals and against owning them. In fact, several years ago Metal drafted Proposition 34B, also known as the Animal Ban Act. It went on to recieve one vote: Metal’s. Now let me ask you: why should someone as hateful as Metal A. Jesus be allowed to roam the streets? I would be afraid to let my children out to play if Metal was anywhere near them. The fact of the matter is this: Metal is also opposed to childrens rights, too! On numerous occasions Metal has thrown wadded up paper and stones at children as they played in a sandbox. Unfortunately, Mr. Jesus fled the scene before the authorities arrived.
I am downright sick and tired of the preachy nature of Mr. Jesus! Metal does absolutely nothing but blame others for their own problems. Did you know that Metal recently blamed me, Metal Jesus, an outstanding citizen of my community and a rolemodel for today’s youth for World War 1! I had not even been born yet, but Metal sure thought that blaming me would make it all better. The fact is that I had nothing to do with WW1, or even WW2 for that matter!
Several summers ago, Metal held a yard sale and sold many defective and fradulent items. Metal sold my friend a chair that supposedly had once belonged to Abraham Lincoln. Metal even had a certificate of authenticity signed by Mr. Lincoln. By the time they got home they realized the chair had a ‘Hello Kitty’ engraving in the back, was made out of plastic and painted brown, and stated ‘copyright 1998’. April Fools! 😉
The Mega Sg is the latest FPGA based clone system based on the Sega Genesis / Mega Drive from Analogue. Is it worth the $190 price? And how does it stack up to a RetroN5 or original Sega Genesis with HDMI / RGB output? More Info: https://www.analogue.co/mega-sg/
GAMES SHOWN: Q.U.B.E. 2 Knight of Pen and Paper 1 & 2 The Adventure Pals Steredenn: Binary Stars N++ Ultimate Edition Snake Pass Worms W.M.D. Mutant Mudds Collection Lovers in a Dangerous Spacetime Shelter Generations The Flame in the Flood Human: Fall Flat More Info: http://www.SuperRareGames.com
** DISCLAIMER : We were sent the games for review, but nobody is paying us to make this video, nobody is reviewing the footage and all our opinions are our own **
Buffy the Vampire Slayer (2002) on the original XBOX is a beat ’em up / survivor horror game that is way better than you might expect. That is if we can figure out how to complete the tutorial 😉
Retro-Bit is partnering with SEGA to release new controllers for Genesis/MegaDrive and Saturn that are built to original specifications and also offer USB connections and more.
