Pat used to be the hero, the one who stuck it to “The Man.” But now? Oh, Pat’s slapping logos on everything, from socks to sandwich bags. It’s like watching a punk rock star start selling used cars. “But they’re eco-friendly!” Pat says, holding up a toothpaste sponsorship deal. We’re onto you, Pat. You traded your ideals for cash—and maybe a free toaster. Shill of the century? Nah, Pat’s too busy monetizing his apology tour to even care.