My review of the Analogue 3D — finally, an N64 clone system that doesn’t wheeze like it’s running GoldenEye on life support. Gorgeous hardware, great performance, and yes… still can’t help me beat Blast Corps. MORE INFO: https://www.analogue.co/3d
Category Archives: System Reviews
This CRAZY Handheld TRANSFORMS into a Nintendo 3DS/DS
The ONEXSUGAR is a wild handheld that transforms into dual-screen mode for DS/3DS games. It runs PS2, Dreamcast, GameCube, classic 8/16-bit, and Android games too. Super versatile—but not cheap 💸.
MORE INFO: https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/onexsugar-1st-dual-screen-transformable-handheld#/
The Nintendo DS – Hardware & Best Games
Ah, the Nintendo DS — the handheld console that looked like a tiny laptop for cartoon spies and made every kid in 2004 feel like a tech mogul. “Dual Screen” was the big selling point, as if one screen wasn’t enough chaos for your eyeballs. And let’s not forget the stylus, a tiny plastic wand you lost within 48 hours, destined to be replaced with chewed-up pencils, greasy thumbs, or pure, unfiltered rage. It was the first time a video game console encouraged us to poke Pikachu in the face and blow into a microphone like we were trying to resuscitate Mario.
But oh, the library — from “Brain Age” tricking us into doing Sudoku for fun, to “Nintendogs,” which let you adopt a digital puppy and then ignore it until it ran away in shame (relatable). You had classics, weird experiments, and that weird guy on the bus asking to trade Pokémon through local wireless. The DS didn’t just sell games — it sold an experience: one part childhood joy, one part touchscreen confusion, and one part “wait, this game wants me to yell ‘OBJECTION!’ out loud in public?” It was clamshell chaos at its finest.
Amstrad GX4000 – Review & Overview
Ah, the Amstrad GX4000 — the gaming console equivalent of bringing a water pistol to a laser tag fight. Released in 1990, just as Nintendo and Sega were busy high-fiving their way into history, Amstrad strutted into the scene with all the confidence of a dad at a rave. Clad in a futuristic white plastic shell that looked like a prop from Knight Rider’s deleted scenes, it promised to bring 8-bit magic to your living room — assuming, of course, you could find one of the ten games that actually worked on it. With a controller that felt like it was designed by someone who had only heard of video games, the GX4000 was less “console of the future” and more “forgotten VCR that someone put buttons on.”
Technically, it wasn’t terrible—it could do a decent side-scroller if you squinted and used your imagination. But in a world where Sonic was doing loops and Mario was breaking bricks with his head, the GX4000 was mostly known for porting games from Amstrad’s own CPC computers. Translation: your console games looked suspiciously like something your uncle was programming in BASIC in 1986. Still, there’s a kind of endearing charm to its plucky little heart. Like a Yorkshire Terrier barking at a T-Rex, it had no idea it was doomed — and bless it, it never stopped trying.
OneXPlayer G1 Gaming PC – It’s Powerful…but WEIRD
The OneXPlayer G1 is like a gaming laptop and a Steam Deck had a wild night out and accidentally created a boxy, overpowered handheld that can run Cyberpunk 2077 and give you a forearm workout. It’s the device for people who think, “Sure, I want portability—but I also want all the frames, a full keyboard, and a controller that cramps.” MORE INFO: https://bit.ly/43qnp59
RetroN GX TurboGrafx-16 Review – the Good & the Bad
Review of the Hyperkin RetroN GX TurboGrafx-16/PC Engine clone console. This system plays TurboGrafx-16 and PC Engine games… kinda. At $90, some compromises have been made to resolution and performance. More info: http://www.hyperkin.com
Ah, the TurboGrafx-16, the console that said, “Sure, I’ll compete with the NES and Sega Genesis,” but then tripped on its own power cord before crossing the finish line. Released in North America in 1989, this little underdog was actually a powerhouse—at least on paper. It boasted gorgeous 16-bit graphics (well, technically an 8-bit CPU with a 16-bit graphics processor, but shhh, marketing!) and some of the best arcade-style games of its era.
The TurboGrafx-16 had a sleek, almost futuristic design… if “futuristic” meant a black plastic rectangle with orange accents. It also had just one controller port—because NEC figured friends were optional. Want multiplayer? Fork over extra cash for a TurboTap accessory. And speaking of accessories, there was the TurboExpress, a handheld version that was basically a Game Boy on steroids, capable of playing full TG-16 cartridges. It was amazing—until you realized it burned through six AA batteries in under three hours.
Then there was the TurboGrafx-CD, an add-on that gave players access to CD-ROM games years before Sega and Sony made it cool. Unfortunately, it also cost more than a used car in 1992. But hey, if you wanted anime cutscenes, voice acting, and loading times that let you grab a snack mid-level, this was the future!
Despite an amazing library featuring gems like Bonk’s Adventure (a game about a caveman with a weaponized forehead), Blazing Lazers (pure vertical-scrolling shooter bliss), and Castlevania: Rondo of Blood (arguably one of the best in the series), the TurboGrafx-16 never really caught on in the U.S. In Japan, where it was known as the PC Engine, it was a massive success, proving once again that Americans and Japanese gamers sometimes live in parallel gaming dimensions.
Ultimately, the TurboGrafx-16 was the hipster console of its time—underappreciated, ahead of the curve, and loved by those in the know. If you had one, you were either an arcade shooter enthusiast, a collector before it was cool, or someone who got it on clearance because your parents refused to buy a SNES. Either way, respect.
Chromatic Review: Game Boy for the Elite?
My review of the Chromatic by ModRetro: a premium handheld for Game Boy and Game Boy Color cartridges, featuring a custom display and magnesium alloy shell. But at $200, is it worth it, or are there better & cheaper options?
Here are five lesser-known Game Boy Color (GBC) games that are often considered hidden gems by retro gaming enthusiasts:
1. Shantae
- Developer/Publisher: WayForward
- Year: 2002
- Why it’s a gem: Released late in the GBC’s lifespan, Shantae is a colorful action-platformer with Metroidvania elements. Its vibrant graphics, catchy music, and unique gameplay (Shantae transforms into animals to solve puzzles) make it a standout title.
- Fun Fact: Due to its low print run, physical copies are rare and highly sought after.
2. Dragon Warrior Monsters 2 (Tara’s Adventure / Cobi’s Journey)
- Developer/Publisher: Enix
- Year: 2001
- Why it’s a gem: Often overshadowed by Pokémon, this monster-raising RPG offers deep gameplay, a robust breeding system, and expansive worlds to explore. The level of customization in building your team is immense.
- Fun Fact: It allows players to breed unique monsters with specific abilities, making each playthrough different.
3. Wendy: Every Witch Way
- Developer/Publisher: WayForward
- Year: 2001
- Why it’s a gem: This gravity-defying platformer is simple but highly polished. Players control Wendy, the Good Little Witch, using her powers to flip gravity and solve clever puzzles.
- Fun Fact: It’s one of the earliest games by WayForward, who would later become famous for Shantae.
4. Survival Kids
- Developer/Publisher: Konami
- Year: 1999
- Why it’s a gem: A survival adventure game where players must navigate a deserted island, gather resources, and find a way to escape. It features multiple endings and a focus on crafting and exploration.
- Fun Fact: This game is considered the precursor to the Lost in Blue series on the Nintendo DS.
5. Bionic Commando: Elite Forces
- Developer/Publisher: Nintendo
- Year: 2000
- Why it’s a gem: A unique spin-off of the Bionic Commando series, this game combines action-platforming with a grappling hook mechanic for puzzle-solving. It’s challenging and offers satisfying gameplay.
- Fun Fact: The grappling mechanic remains a defining feature of the Bionic Commando series.
These games showcase the GBC’s impressive library beyond its most famous titles. Have you tried any of these, or are you looking for something similar?
Testing PS2 & GAMECUBE on latest ANBERNIC handheld.
Review of the ANBERNIC RG406V playing PS2, Gamecube, Wii and Dreamcast games.
Extra 15% Off Code: MetalJesusRocks
RG406V Game Console: https://bit.ly/3U695t3
The sixth generation of gaming consoles, ah! The early 2000s—a glorious era when tech was just powerful enough to bring our gaming dreams to life, yet clunky enough to make us yell at our TV screens. Picture this:
- PlayStation 2 – Sony decided to make a console that doubled as a DVD player. No one cared much for DVDs until the PS2 arrived, and then suddenly, everyone’s mom had a reason to let this console into the living room. It had a library of games longer than the Lord of the Rings series, and you could never resist buying more, even if the backlog was a mile deep. But let’s be honest; we all spent more time replaying Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas and running over NPCs.
- Xbox – Microsoft’s first foray into the console world, and it showed. This thing was about as subtle as a bulldozer, weighing in heavier than a small child and looking like an oversized VCR on steroids. But it came with Halo, which made it the coolest kid on the block. Multiplayer mayhem on Halo turned living rooms into battlegrounds, and “frag” and “teabag” became part of our vocabularies for the next decade.
- Nintendo GameCube – The adorable purple lunchbox that could. Nintendo went for a square design as if they were trolling the competition. Everyone laughed until Super Smash Bros. Melee dropped, and then suddenly no one was laughing because they were all too busy smashing controllers and friendships. It even had a handle, so you could bring it over to a friend’s house—a good thing since you’d need it for Mario Kart Double Dash parties.
- Sega Dreamcast – Sega’s final hurrah in the console wars, the Dreamcast was the hip, misunderstood sibling of the generation. It introduced online gaming before any of the others, even though most of us had dial-up Internet slower than a sleepy snail. The Dreamcast had games with more originality than half the consoles since, but its fate was doomed by Sega’s previous console misadventures. It’s like that artist friend you wish had made it big but ended up selling pottery on Etsy.
This generation brought us memory cards, clunky graphics that we thought were “realistic,” and the timeless habit of yelling at your sibling for screen-peeking. If gaming consoles were people, the sixth-gen would be that quirky friend who’s super talented but hasn’t quite figured out how not to make a mess.
I was WRONG about the PlayStation Portal…
The PlayStation Portal is like a gaming Swiss Army knife that forgot its blades at home but still insists on being the life of the party. Imagine taking a PlayStation 5, shrinking it down to tablet size, and then realizing, “Oh wait, this thing can’t run games on its own.” It’s essentially the gaming world’s equivalent of a long-distance relationship—you’re technically together, but you need a strong Wi-Fi connection, or things get frustrating fast. The Portal is perfect if you’ve ever wanted to game on your couch without hogging the TV, but still need your PS5 to do all the heavy lifting. The PlayStation Portal is a lovable paradox: advanced yet oddly limited, freeing yet tethered, and definitely a conversation starter.
Buy PlayStation Portal (Amazon) : https://amzn.to/3MfEXqH
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Xbox One Buying Guide – Hardware + Great Games
Metal Jesus & Kelsey Lewin present a Xbox One Buying guide covering the different console variations, controllers and accessories and Xbox games to play!
The Xbox One is a home video game console developed by Microsoft and released in November 2013 as the successor to the Xbox 360. It features significant upgrades in hardware, including an AMD Jaguar 8-core CPU, 8GB of DDR3 RAM, and a custom GPU, enabling enhanced graphics and performance for gaming and multimedia applications. The console supports a wide range of games, from exclusive titles like “Halo 5: Guardians” and “Forza Horizon 4” to multi-platform hits. It also offers robust online services through Xbox Live, allowing for digital game downloads, multiplayer gaming, and access to various entertainment apps. The Xbox One introduced features like voice control via Kinect, backward compatibility with select Xbox 360 games, and integration with Windows 10, making it a versatile entertainment hub.