Category Archives: Metal Jesus Likes

Ranking the Difficulty of Every Mario Game | Nintendo

The Mario games are basically the story of one very determined plumber with a questionable work-life balance. For over four decades, Mario has been sprinting, jumping, and power-sliding his way through the Mushroom Kingdom, rescuing Princess Peach from Bowser — a giant, fire-breathing turtle who apparently has nothing better to do. Every game starts with the same setup: Peach gets kidnapped, Mario shrugs, eats a mushroom, and risks his life navigating lava pits and haunted castles while Bowser probably just sits around watching turtle Netflix. And yet, we love it.

The brilliance of Mario games is how they somehow make plumbing-related activities thrilling. One minute you’re dodging sentient cacti in the desert, the next you’re riding a dinosaur (Yoshi) who will absolutely abandon you if you jump off a cliff. Power-ups range from practical (fireballs) to delightfully absurd (turning into a flying raccoon… for some reason). And despite Mario’s questionable career progression — plumber, doctor, kart racer, Olympic athlete — he never seems to ask for a day off. But hey, as long as Bowser keeps kidnapping Peach, Mario will keep stomping on turtles, eating questionable fungi, and reminding us all that the best adventures start with “Wahoo!”.

Most Expensive PS3 Games In Our Collection | Gaming Off The Grid

The PlayStation 3 — Sony’s futuristic black monolith of gaming — crash-landed in living rooms in 2006, looking like a sleek, alien artifact designed to summon extraterrestrial life. Weighing roughly the same as a small dog and radiating enough heat to cook a Hot Pocket, the PS3 was a technological marvel of its time. It boasted a Blu-ray player (a huge flex in 2006), stunning HD graphics, and a controller that, while wireless, still clung to its ancestors with the same button layout from the PS1. And let’s not forget the iconic startup sound — a celestial chime that made you feel like you were about to embark on an interstellar journey, when really, you were just booting up LittleBigPlanet.

However, the PS3 wasn’t without its quirks. The launch model came with a price tag so high ($599!) that it felt like Sony was daring you to buy it. Early adopters also faced the infamous “Yellow Light of Death,” which was basically the console’s way of politely imploding. And the online service? Free — but also held together with duct tape and hope. Yet despite its rough start, the PS3 blossomed into a legendary console, delivering classics like Uncharted 2, The Last of Us, and Metal Gear Solid 4. It was a machine that, in its own charmingly complicated way, helped redefine gaming and laid the groundwork for the powerhouse that Sony would become. Plus, it made a pretty decent space heater in the winter.

John Riggs Paid $1100 for a video game collection… FOR 1 GAME!!!!

John Riggs is like your cool retro-gaming uncle who somehow knows every obscure NES game, can fix a busted cartridge with a mystical wiggle, and still has time to hit up every regional swap meet for hidden gems. With his signature beanie, dad-joke delivery, and an unshakable love for all things old-school gaming, he’s the guy who’ll excitedly tell you about a weird Japanese Famicom game that “never made it to the States, but totally should have.” His channel is a delightful mix of nostalgia, game restoration, and food reviews—because what’s a good gaming session without a questionable gas station snack to go with it?

He’s also got a superpower: bringing dead games back to life. If you’ve got a cartridge that won’t boot, he’ll pop it open, work some voodoo with a cotton swab and a screwdriver, and suddenly—boom—your childhood memories are playable again. And while he’s mostly about gaming, his love of junk food and random pop culture deep dives make every video feel like hanging out in a basement full of CRT TVs, Doritos crumbs, and pure, unfiltered 80s and 90s energy. If you ever wanted a gaming channel run by a guy who could talk about rare Sega Genesis prototypes and rank the best convenience store taquitos in the same breath, John Riggs is your guy.

Games That Push Hardware Limits #12

5 Outrageous Lies about Game Sack (that may be true)

  • Joe from Game Sack secretly records all episodes from inside a massive, underground video game vault guarded by cybernetic Sega Genesis consoles. The vault is so vast that he once got lost for three weeks in the Neo Geo aisle.

  • Every episode of Game Sack is actually filmed in one continuous take with no script—Joe just absorbs game knowledge directly from cartridges by holding them to his forehead like a video game shaman.

  • The real reason Dave left the show is that he ascended to a higher plane of existence where all games run at 60 FPS, have no lag, and every controller D-pad is perfectly responsive.

  • Game Sack was once approached by Hollywood to turn the channel into a big-budget action movie, but Joe turned it down because they insisted on replacing his collection with NFTs of PlayStation demo discs.

  • Joe doesn’t actually own a single video game—he just green-screens everything and has been winging it for over a decade, fooling us all with pure confidence and a suspiciously large library of stock footage.

Lies? Truth? You decide.

I FORCED Myself to Play Daggerfall in 2025

The Elder Scrolls II: Daggerfall is what happens when a game studio says, “Let’s make an RPG so massive that players will never see the whole thing, and then let’s make it brutally unforgiving just for fun.” Released in 1996, Daggerfallgives you a world roughly the size of Great Britain, filled with thousands of towns, dungeons, and NPCs who seem to have taken a solemn vow to never give clear directions. You’ll start off as a wannabe hero who can barely swing a sword, only to be thrown into a world where rats and bats can absolutely wreck you in a dark dungeon that looks suspiciously like an Escher painting. And good luck climbing out of a pit without breaking both legs, because gravity in Daggerfall takes no prisoners.

Then there’s the game’s infamous randomness. Quests are generated like a medieval fantasy fever dream—one moment, you’re fetching a lost family heirloom; the next, you’re realizing the heirloom is in a dungeon the size of a small city, filled with angry skeletons and hallways that loop back on themselves just to mess with you. But the real magic of Daggerfall is in its janky yet ambitious mechanics—like the ability to turn into a werewolf, climb walls like Spider-Man, and buy property in almost every city (though good luck paying taxes). It’s a game where you can get lost, both figuratively and literally, for hundreds of hours, and despite all its quirks, it remains a beloved, beautifully chaotic masterpiece of old-school RPG design.

Delorean Time Machine may be the MOST FUN you can have owning a car!

The DeLorean DMC-12 is the perfect example of what happens when a car is designed for cool factor first, practicality last. With its stainless steel body, gull-wing doors, and an engine that could barely outrun a determined jogger, the DeLorean was less of a speed machine and more of a conversation starter. Sure, it looked like it belonged in the future, but in reality, it had all the horsepower of a rebellious lawnmower. Yet somehow, this quirky, underpowered, over-stylized car became one of the most iconic vehicles in cinematic history—thanks to one tiny modification: a flux capacitor.

Enter Back to the Future, the only movie that could convince us a DeLorean could hit 88 mph without a strong tailwind and divine intervention. With a little Hollywood magic (and a lot of plutonium), this car transformed from an automotive oddity into a time-traveling legend. It wasn’t just a car—it was a gateway to adventure, paradoxes, and some very questionable alterations to the space-time continuum. And let’s be honest, nobody watches Back to the Future without immediately wondering, “Could I daily drive a DeLorean?”—before remembering that opening the doors in a tight parking space would require the flexibility of a gymnast.

Retro Maggie: Building a Gaming Room from the ground up!

YouTuber Retro Maggie – Gives us a detailed look at her killer Gaming Room!

Imagine a sacred space in your home where the only responsibilities are leveling up, saving the world, and maybe remembering to hydrate. A dedicated video game room is not just a luxury—it’s a necessity for anyone serious about their digital adventures. No more fighting for TV time or awkwardly explaining to guests why there’s a tangled mess of controllers in the living room. Instead, picture a throne-like gaming chair, ambient LED lighting that makes everything feel just a little more epic, and shelves lined with carefully curated game collections. It’s your personal command center, a place where you can rage in peace when that boss fight gets the best of you, without judgment or side-eye from your family.

Plus, a gaming room is basically an investment in your well-being—science probably backs this up somewhere. It’s a stress-relief zone, a social hub for co-op marathons, and a fortress of solitude when you need a break from the real world’s side quests (like work and taxes). With a dedicated space, you can crank up the surround sound without worrying about waking the baby, immerse yourself in a VR world without crashing into the coffee table, and even display your gaming trophies with pride. It’s not just a room; it’s a lifestyle, a sanctuary, and let’s be honest—probably the best decision you’ll make for your happiness, short of installing a snack fridge right next to your setup.

The Unofficial, Slightly Sarcastic List of Obsidian Games

Obsidian Entertainment have made some amazing games….and others that were probably released a bit before they should have been.

  1. Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic II – The Sith Lords (2004)
    This sequel cranked up the existential crisis, filled it with cut content, and made us question everything we knew about Star Wars morality.
  2. Neverwinter Nights 2 (2006)
    An RPG where you collect weirdos, bicker with them, and somehow save the world—classic Obsidian. Also, that stronghold management? Peak real estate simulator.
  3. Alpha Protocol (2010)
    What if Jason Bourne had dialogue options that made people hate him instantly? A spy RPG where your greatest weapon is awkward small talk (and also guns). Woefully unbalanced in some of the boss fights unfortunately, so follow a guide if you play it today!
  4. Fallout: New Vegas (2010)
    The greatest argument for why gambling should always be a dialogue skill. Also known as “The Best Fallout Game (Don’t Argue)”.
  5. Dungeon Siege III (2011)
    The Dungeon Siege game that no one remembers, including Dungeon Siege fans. It existed, and that’s what matters.
  6. South Park: The Stick of Truth (2014)
    An RPG where your weaponized flatulence determines the fate of an entire town. Highbrow humor at its finest.
  7. Pillars of Eternity (2015)
    Baldur’s Gate, but make it so Obsidian it hurts. Deep lore, tactical combat, and enough text to qualify as a novel.
  8. Armored Warfare (2015)
    Obsidian making a World of Tanks competitor? Sure, why not. Unfortunately, it tanked (pun intended).
  9. Tyranny (2016)
    What if you played an RPG where you’re already working for the bad guys? Basically, middle management simulator but with more fireballs.
  10. Pillars of Eternity II: Deadfire (2018)
    Everything you loved about the first game, but now on boats. Also, you can be besties with a talking ghost pig.
  11. The Outer Worlds (2019)
    Fallout in space, but with even more corporate satire. Where your biggest decision isn’t good vs. evil, but which megacorp is the least terrible. They released a The Outer Worlds: Spacer’s Choice Edition with improved graphics, all the patches and add-on missions. Great game!
  12. Grounded (2022)
    Honey, I Shrunk the Kids: The Game! Survival mechanics, terrifying spiders, and realizing that ladybugs are actually hardcore.
  13. Pentiment (2022)
    What if an illuminated manuscript was a murder mystery? A game that proved you don’t need combat when you have the crushing weight of historical guilt.
  14. Avowed (Upcoming)
    The Elder Scrolls game Todd Howard would prefer you not look at too closely. I have high hopes for this one!
  15. The Outer Worlds 2 (Upcoming)
    Expect more space capitalism, more snark, and hopefully more planets where everything wants to kill you.

Obsidian: Masters of the RPG genre, champions of “deep lore,” and forever the kings of “We Would’ve Needed More Time for That Feature.”

Five Lesser-Known Facts About the Nintendo Switch

Five Lesser-Known Facts About the Nintendo Switch

1. The Cartridge Taste Test Challenge
Nintendo made Switch cartridges taste awful on purpose. Seriously, they coated them with a bitter substance called denatonium benzoate to stop kids (and overly curious adults) from swallowing them. If you’ve ever wondered what disappointment tastes like, give one a lick—just don’t blame me when your tongue regrets it.

2. The “Forgotten Feature” IR Camera
The Joy-Con’s right controller has a fancy infrared motion camera that’s criminally underused. Nintendo originally showed it off by letting you play a rock-paper-scissors game… and then promptly forgot about it. It’s like the Switch’s third wheel: cool, but no one invites it to the party.

3. It’s a Fitness Guru in Disguise
The Switch secretly wants to be your personal trainer. Between Ring Fit Adventure, Just Dance, and random Joy-Con waggling, you’re likely burning more calories than you’d expect. Nintendo knows how to make you sweat while convincing you it’s fun—take that, boring gym memberships.

4. It Has a Screenshot Addiction
The Switch is so eager to show off your gaming prowess (or failures) that it gives you a dedicated button for screenshots. One press and boom—instant photo memory. Accidentally hit it during intense boss battles? No worries, now you’ve got 47 blurry images of you getting owned.

5. It Tracks How Long You’ve Been Procrastinating
The Switch keeps a creepy-good log of how many hours you’ve spent on each game. Sure, it’s fun to see you’ve clocked 300 hours in Animal Crossing, but it’s also a brutal reality check when you realize you haven’t spent nearly as much time on life goals.

Here are 5 Lesser Known Facts about the PS5

Five Lesser-Known Facts About the PS5:

1. Hidden Easter Egg on the DualSense Controller
The textured grip on the DualSense controller isn’t just random—it’s made up of tiny PlayStation symbols (the iconic square, triangle, circle, and cross). This intricate design adds both functionality and a nod to the brand’s legacy, but it’s so small that it’s easy to miss unless you look closely under a magnifying glass.

2. Backward Compatibility Includes Boost Mode
While it’s well-known that the PS5 supports backward compatibility with most PS4 games, many people don’t realize that it also has a “Boost Mode.” This feature allows certain PS4 games to run with enhanced frame rates, improved load times, and better visuals, giving older titles a fresh lease on life.

3. Customizable Game Help Feature
The PS5’s UI includes a built-in “Game Help” feature, which is often overlooked. This feature provides hints, walkthroughs, and tips directly from the system for supported games. It’s designed to help players avoid spoilers by offering just enough guidance to get through tricky sections.

4. Ultra-Fast Suspend/Resume Feature for Multiple Games
While Xbox’s Quick Resume feature gets a lot of attention, the PS5 quietly boasts an impressive suspend/resume capability for multiple games. With the system’s ultra-fast SSD, players can jump back into recent sessions nearly instantly, although it doesn’t apply to as many games simultaneously as Xbox’s version.

5. Built-In Microphone with Voice-to-Text
The DualSense controller includes a built-in microphone, which is well-known for chatting. However, a lesser-known feature is its voice-to-text capability. You can dictate messages using your voice instead of typing, which is especially handy for entering text or sending quick messages during gameplay.