All posts by Metal Jesus Rocks

Introducing The RetroTINK 4K CE – A cheaper alternative!

Mike Chi has just announced a cheaper, slightly stripped-down version of the RetroTINK 4K he’s calling the “CE” that will be available in early 2025. This video is an overview of what to expect, as well as how it differs from the 4K Pro.

https://www.retrotink.com/

Ah, the humble retro gaming console—your dusty time machine to an era when polygons were edgy (literally) and Mario had the square jawline of an ’80s action hero. But trying to hook up your beloved Super Nintendo or Sega Genesis to a modern TV is like introducing your grandma to TikTok—it’s a total mismatch.

Here’s the deal: your retro console speaks fluent analog—a language your ultra-HD, 4K smart TV barely remembers, like a millennial trying to understand a rotary phone. Plug that RCA cable into your shiny new TV, and what do you get? A pixelated soup that looks like Mario’s been smudged with Vaseline and then run through a blender.

Enter the upscaler, the nerdy translator your retro console desperately needs. This magical device takes those ancient 240p signals (yes, your childhood was that low-res) and stretches them into something your TV can understand without bursting into laughter. It’s like putting glasses on your games—they’re still old, but suddenly, you can actually see their charm again.

But don’t think the upscaler works miracles. It’s not turning “GoldenEye 007” into “Call of Duty.” Those blocky faces are still there—Pierce Brosnan will forever look like a thumb with eyebrows—but now you can admire every glorious pixel of his thumb-ness.

Without an upscaler, your retro gaming experience becomes a quest of frustration: blurry visuals, laggy inputs, and colors so washed out they look like a faded 1980s family photo. So, unless you want Sonic the Hedgehog to run in slow motion or for Link to look like he’s lost in a foggy dreamscape, do yourself a favor—get that upscaler. It’s not just a device; it’s a bridge between generations, ensuring your childhood doesn’t look too embarrassing on a 65-inch TV.

This Isn’t Just a Game Room – It’s a Time Machine!

YouTube: A Gamer’s Basement – Ah, the Game Room or Man Cave—the mythical lair where dreams are built, snacks are devoured, and adulthood is put on hold for a few blissful hours. Why do people pour their hearts, souls, and entire tax returns into these sacred spaces? Let’s break it down:

  1. Escape From Reality (and Laundry):
    Life is full of adulting: bills, chores, and trying to figure out what a “401(k)” actually does. A game room is the magical portal where grown-ups get to pretend they’re 12 again—except now they can afford the deluxe gaming chair with lumbar support.
  2. Unapologetic Decor Choices:
    Where else can you put a neon Pac-Man sign, a replica of Thor’s hammer, and a framed poster of The Godfatherall in one room without getting side-eye from your significant other? The man cave is where traditional home decor goes to die—and that’s the point.
  3. A Fortress of Solitude (With Wi-Fi):
    Let’s face it: sometimes you just need to escape the chaos of family life, office drama, or that neighbor who stillwants to borrow your leaf blower. Here, you’re the king, the DJ, and the snack czar.
  4. Social Points With Friends:
    Having a game room turns you into an instant legend among your buddies. Hosting a movie night or a Call of Duty marathon? Everyone’s coming to your house, and you’ll finally get to use the phrase, “The usual rules apply.”
  5. Snack-Fueled Nostalgia:
    Who doesn’t want a space dedicated to shoving pizza rolls in their face while yelling at a screen? A mini-fridge stocked with energy drinks, good beer and a secret stash of candy bars? This is peak living.
  6. Avoiding Shopping Trips:
    “Oh, you’re going to the mall? I’ll just stay here in the cave… you know, working on my pool shot or researching vintage arcade cabinet restoration. Have fun!”
  7. The Illusion of Control:
    In a world where bosses, toddlers, and even pets seem to rule your life, the man cave is the one place where you call the shots—even if it’s just deciding which Marvel movie to rewatch for the 73rd time. And by the way, that Marvel movie is Spider-Man: No Way Home, thank you very much.

In short, people love building game rooms or man caves because they’re the ultimate combo of freedom, nostalgia, and controlled chaos. It’s where fun meets comfort, and where nobody can judge you for owning 15 different gaming consoles and a popcorn machine.

 

Grand Theft Auto 3 on the Sega Dreamcast is incredible

Ode to Grand Theft Auto III

In Liberty’s dark streets, chaos unfolds,
A playground vast of crime and untamed will,
Where dreams of lawless freedom we behold,
And every choice brings triumph or a thrill.

Thy gritty skies are painted gray with sin,
A world where morals falter, fade, and blur,
Yet in this realm, true artistry begins,
A tale of vengeance, wrought with each detour.

Claude, the silent specter, seeks his due,
His path of wrath through alleys paved with strife,
No word escapes, yet actions bold and true
Define the pulse of his relentless life.

Oh, GTA, thy boldness redefined,
A game, a legend, etched in gamer’s mind.

MORE PlayStation 4 / PS4 Games Hidden Gems (also play on PS5)

Think you’ve seen it all on PlayStation 4? 🤔 Think again! These underrated PS4 games deserve a spot in your library:

GAMES SHOWN:
After Wave: Downfall
Sakura Wars (2019)
Hue
Agent Intercept
Super Hydorah
Batbarian: Testament of the Primordials
Bramble: The Mountain King

PREVIOUS PS4 HIDDEN GEMS: https://youtu.be/qcMCbDIqdws

The PlayStation 4, or PS4 as it’s lovingly called by gamers and begrudgingly tolerated by parents, is the sleek, black box that promised to revolutionize gaming—and deliver a soundtrack of button mashing to living rooms worldwide. Released in 2013, this console is essentially the Swiss Army knife of entertainment. Need to game? Done. Want to stream Netflix? Easy. Accidentally fall asleep during a binge-watch session and forget to turn it off? It’s got your back. Its iconic DualShock 4 controller, with its touchpad and light bar, makes you feel like you’re holding a spaceship dashboard. But let’s be real: that light bar is mostly just a glowing beacon for your cat to attack.

The PS4’s interface is slick and modern, as long as you don’t mind the occasional existential crisis caused by updates that take longer than a Tolkien trilogy. It also has a knack for transforming into a jet engine when playing graphically intense games, as if it’s personally trying to power your gaming session with sheer enthusiasm. And let’s not forget its library of legendary exclusives. God of War, The Last of Us Part II, and Spider-Man are proof that the PS4 can do more than just make your thumbs sore—it can also emotionally destroy you. In short, the PS4 is that friend who always shows up with snacks, keeps things exciting, but occasionally demands a two-hour nap to recharge.

Cassette Tapes & CDs are BACK! – NINM Lab Cassette and CD Players Reviewed

Ah, the glorious resurgence of vinyl records and cassettes—because apparently, nothing screams “I love music” like spinning a 12-inch frisbee or painstakingly rewinding a tape with a pencil! It’s as if music fans collectively woke up one day and thought, “Streaming? Too easy. Let’s make this complicated again!”

Vinyl is the heavyweight champion of nostalgia, weighing in at a solid couple of pounds per album. Fans lovingly call it “warm,” which is a kind way of saying it pops, crackles, and occasionally sounds like it’s been recorded underwater. But there’s something undeniably magical about the ritual—gently placing the needle, holding your breath to avoid skipping a groove, and flipping the record every 20 minutes. Nothing builds intimacy with an album quite like getting up mid-lounge session to tend to it like a needy toddler.

And then there’s the cassette tape—a bold choice for anyone nostalgic for the time when Walkmans ruled and fast-forwarding meant guessing. These little plastic time machines are like the music format equivalent of a ’90s rom-com: temperamental, prone to tangling, and utterly endearing. Millennials and Gen Z have embraced them as if they discovered the secret to teleporting to 1987. Want to impress your friends? Show off your mixtape skills by carefully curating 12 songs, only to find that Side B starts halfway through a chorus.

In an era of instant access, the resurgence of vinyl and cassettes is a delightful rebellion against convenience. It’s a love letter to the past wrapped in hisses and hums. Sure, your streaming app won’t demand you dust it or threaten to warp if left in the sun, but it also doesn’t make you feel like you’re handling a tiny piece of history every time you press play. And honestly, who can resist the joy of a good thunk as the needle hits the groove?

Restoring Apple’s fastest classic Mac (Mac IIfx)

The Apple Macintosh IIfx was Apple’s way of saying, “Why settle for fast when you can have fast for 1990?” Nicknamed the “Wicked Fast” Mac, this beast was to other computers of its time what a Ferrari is to a grocery store parking lot: completely unnecessary but irresistibly cool.

Powered by a 40 MHz Motorola 68030 processor, the IIfx was Apple’s speed demon, complete with a pair of custom I/O processors to handle things like floppy drives and serial ports. That’s right—it needed extra chips to manage the hard work of talking to printers and loading Oregon Trail. In 1990, that was like having a butler for your butler.

Its speed wasn’t cheap. The IIfx launched at a wallet-busting $12,000, which in today’s money is enough to buy a decent used car—or 50 Chromebooks. It was so exclusive that Apple practically issued you a monocle and a smoking jacket when you bought one. Rumor has it they even considered shipping it with a complimentary cup of artisan espresso.

But what did you get for that princely sum? A computer that could handle up to 128 MB of RAM, which was more memory than most people could comprehend needing back then. It was also packed with custom black-tantalum capacitors, which sounded so fancy you’d think the IIfx was moonlighting as a James Bond gadget.

Of course, it wasn’t all glamour. It ran System 6 or 7, meaning it could crash just as spectacularly as its slower cousins. But hey, at least it could do it faster! And let’s not forget the “affordable” peripherals like its $3,000 monitor, which was practically mandatory unless you wanted to experience 40 MHz of raw power on a green monochrome display.

In short, the Macintosh IIfx was the computer equivalent of a Lamborghini in a world of Honda Civics. It screamed “overkill” and “status symbol” louder than a dot-matrix printer, and for that, it remains a glorious relic of the early ‘90s tech arms race.

MSI Claw 8 Ai+ Runs Cyberpunk 2077 With Ray Tracing Set To ULTRA!

; C64 Assembly for Simulated Ray Casting
; This simulates a 2D “ray tracing” effect
; Reality: It’s just rendering basic ray-cast walls in 2D space

.org $0801 ; Program start for BASIC SYS
.word $080A, 0 ; Link for BASIC
.byte $9E ; SYS opcode
.asc “2061” ; SYS 2061 (to start at $080D)
.byte 0

start:
lda #$00 ; Clear screen
jsr $E544

ldx #$00 ; Set X position of rays
loop_cast:
jsr raycast ; Call raycasting subroutine
inx
cpx #40 ; Loop for 40 columns (screen width)
bne loop_cast

rts ; End program

raycast:
lda #$00 ; Initialize distance
sta distance
lda #$FF ; Set max wall brightness
sta brightness

ldy #0 ; Loop for rays
loop_ray:
lda (ray_pos), y ; Simulate a ray calculation
cmp wall_distance
bcc render_pixel ; If hit, render pixel
iny
cpy #100 ; Max ray length
bne loop_ray

rts ; Ray missed

render_pixel:
lda brightness ; Brightness decay
sta screen_buffer,x ; Draw pixel
rts

distance:
.byte $00 ; Placeholder for distance
brightness:
.byte $FF ; Placeholder for brightness

screen_buffer:
.res 1000, $00 ; Space for screen buffer
wall_distance:
.byte $10 ; Fake wall distance

Old School Vs New: Time Pilot Comparisons!

Time Pilot is the arcade game that asks, “What if history class was taught by a caffeine-addicted fighter pilot with no regard for timelines or physics?” Released by Konami in 1982, it throws you into the cockpit of a futuristic jet with the sole purpose of traveling through time and shooting everything that dares to move. Why? Who knows! Time is a flat circle, and you’ve got unlimited ammo.

Each level catapults you into a new era where you face increasingly bizarre enemies. Start with biplanes in 1910—no big deal, they’re just thrilled they’ve figured out how to fly. Then fast-forward to World War II, where you’re dogfighting against slightly angrier pilots in more advanced planes. By the time you’re battling UFOs in the year 2001 (which looked way cooler in 1982), you’re questioning whether this is a mission or an existential crisis.

The controls are smooth, the action is chaotic, and the logic is nonexistent. Why is your jet immune to time travel paradoxes? How does shooting a certain number of enemies summon a giant boss blimp? Why do you have an endless supply of bullets but no snacks? These are questions Time Pilot doesn’t care to answer, because who needs logic when you’ve got explosions?

It’s a game where history, sci-fi, and arcade chaos collide—and somehow, your biggest enemy is gravity because there’s always a stray bullet with your name on it. Perfect for anyone who’s ever looked at the history of aviation and thought, “This needs more dogfights and fewer rules.”

** NEW FOR 2025! ** GAME PICKUPS: 38 Games (PlayStation, Xbox, Switch, N64, SNES)

** NEW FOR 2025! ** GAME PICKUPS: 38 Games (PlayStation, Xbox, Switch, N64, SNES) – Game Pickups with Reggie and Metal Jesus rocks! We show you 38 games & collectables we added to the collection, plus some surprises! WATCH >> https://youtu.be/tu-qYTk0eSc

GAMES SHOWN:

Shadows of the Damned (PS5)

Alone in the Dark

Captain Toonhead vs the Punks from Outer Space (PSVR2)

Bramble (PS4)

Feather (PS4)

Steel Assault (Switch)

Grand Mountain Adventure Wonderlands (Switch)

White Day 2 (PS5)

Rolling Gunner + Over Power (PS4)

Super Zangyura (PS4 / Switch)

Demon Stone (PS2)

Drommelfall (PC)

Grandia (Saturn)

Grandia HD Collection (PS4)

Broforce (Switch)

Viewpoint 2064 (N64)

Ogre (C64) YouTube: ZoltanTheHun

Sin & Punishment (English) (N64)

Wargroove 1 + 2 (Switch)

Logic Bomb (SNES)

Rocket Knight Adventures ReSparked! (Switch)

Trip World DX (PS4 / Switch)

Sonic & Shadow Generations (Switch)

PlayStation Mantis controller

Silent Hill 2 Remake (PS5)

Melfand Stories (SNES)

Future Unfolding (PS4)

Assault Suits Valken: Deluxe Edition (SNES)

Grime (PS5)

I, AI (PS5)

Elevator Agent (Atari 2600)

Haunted Halloween (NES)

Painkiller Hell & Damnation Uncut (PS3)

Densei (SNES)

Monster Jam Showdown (PS5, Xbox, Switch)

Hyperiria (SNES)

System Shock LE (PC)

Norway gift

** DISCLAIMER: Some of the items shown were sent to us for review however all of the opinions are our own **

The End of LGR Donation Videos

Lazy Game Reviews (LGR) is like the Indiana Jones of retro tech, except instead of dodging boulders, he’s dodging compatibility issues on Windows 98. Clint Basinger, the mastermind behind LGR, brings a charming mix of nostalgia, nerdiness, and dry humor as he dives into the quirks of vintage computers, classic games, and obsolete gadgets that time (and everyone else) forgot.

Imagine a guy who can spend 15 minutes passionately discussing a beige desktop case and somehow make it fascinating. Clint is the kind of person who gets visibly excited about unboxing a new old stock Sound Blaster card and probably dreams in 640×480 resolution. His love for The Sims is borderline religious, and his “Thrift Store Hauls” are like treasure hunts where the treasure is an ancient keyboard that weighs more than your dog.

His tone? Calm, soothing, and perfect for when you want to be lulled into a false sense of “Wow, I didn’t know I needed to know about MS-DOS that much.” And let’s not forget his glorious “Woodgrain” aesthetic obsession, which might as well be his spirit animal.

In short, Clint is the guy who’ll convince you that the pinnacle of human innovation was a 486 PC, all while sipping Dr Pepper and making you wonder why you suddenly want to collect floppy disks.