Pat used to be the hero, the one who stuck it to “The Man.” But now? Oh, Pat’s slapping logos on everything, from socks to sandwich bags. It’s like watching a punk rock star start selling used cars. “But they’re eco-friendly!” Pat says, holding up a toothpaste sponsorship deal. We’re onto you, Pat. You traded your ideals for cash—and maybe a free toaster. Shill of the century? Nah, Pat’s too busy monetizing his apology tour to even care.
All posts by Metal Jesus Rocks
Heavy Metal Christmas Santa! 🤘
Santa’s Heavy Metal Sleigh
(A Christmas Carol in Rock ‘n’ Roll)
Up at the North Pole, on a frosty night,
Santa’s workshop glows in the pale moonlight.
But inside the shed, there’s a thunderous roar,
Santa’s shredding riffs like never before!
Rockin’ reindeer, bang your heads,
Santa’s sleigh is painted red!
Heavy metal fills the skies,
Jingle bells with power cries!
He’s got a six-string axe with candy cane stripes,
Elves on the drums bringing hardcore vibes.
Rudolph’s nose is a blazing red stage light,
As Santa shreds solos, it’s a Christmas fright!
Rockin’ reindeer, bang your heads,
Santa’s sleigh is painted red!
Heavy metal fills the skies,
Jingle bells with power cries!
From chimney to chimney, his amps do wail,
Delivering gifts with a fiery trail.
The stockings shake, the halls do quake,
Santa’s metal spirit, for goodness’ sake!
The kids hear his sleigh and a power chord scream,
It’s not just a dream, it’s a metalhead’s dream!
Santa roars, “Merry Christmas to all tonight,
And may your holidays be loud and bright!”
Rockin’ reindeer, bang your heads,
Santa’s sleigh is painted red!
Heavy metal fills the skies,
Jingle bells with power cries!
So if you hear a riff as the snowflakes fall,
It’s Santa Claus rocking to the Christmas call.
Raise your horns, let the carols play,
And headbang with Santa on his heavy sleigh!
** NEW ** XREAL One AR Glasses Review – Big Improvements!
Review of the new XREAL One AR Glasses. These glasses have a brand new custom X1 chip that adds built in settings, ultra low latency and doesn’t require an external Beam adapter to anchor the display (3 DoF). They’ve also upgraded the audio, added better brightness, a larger field of view, distortion-free visuals and much more.
Order XREAL One from Amazon: https://amzn.to/49MQfgY
Order XREAL One from official website: https://bit.ly/4fprhWn
BLADE RUNNER for Commodore 64 (1985) Review
Blade Runner on the Commodore 64 was like watching a sci-fi blockbuster through the lens of an 8-bit kaleidoscope—and somehow still loving every minute of it. Released in 1985, this unofficial game was a loose interpretation of the iconic movie, meaning you didn’t exactly feel like Deckard hunting replicants; you felt more like Deckard’s cousin, running a weird intergalactic taxi service. The game’s visual style was pure pixel art magic (for its time), with your “car” flying across a futuristic cityscape that looked like it was designed by a very enthusiastic Etch A Sketch artist.
The gameplay? Pure chaos. You piloted a spinner through Los Angeles 2019 (a very optimistic 1980s take on our future), dodging obstacles and shooting down enemy ships with controls so slippery, they made you question if gravity still existed in this dystopian world. The sound effects were classic Commodore 64 bleep-bloops, though it occasionally felt like your computer was imitating a stressed-out robot. And while there wasn’t much of a storyline, fans still appreciated its effort to capture the movie’s vibe—if by “vibe” you mean “Let’s make it fast, flashy, and a little confusing.” It might not have been a faithful adaptation, but Blade Runner on the C64 had a scrappy charm that made it a cult classic. It’s like the bootleg VHS of games—janky but weirdly endearing.
JerryRigEverything SCRATCHES the HELL OUT OF the Chromatic Game Boy handheld 😂
JerryRigEverything is like the MythBusters of tech, except the only myth being tested is, “Can this phone survive Zach’s wrath?” Hosted by Zach Nelson, the channel specializes in putting the latest gadgets through a torture test so extreme it feels like watching a Saw movie for smartphones. He wields his razor blade like a tech-savvy samurai, scratching, burning, and bending devices with the kind of calm demeanor that makes you wonder if he’s secretly auditioning for the next James Bond villain.
But it’s not all destruction; there’s an oddly satisfying science to it. Zach’s soothing voice explains the chaos as he systematically destroys your dream gadget, all in the name of “durability.” Want to know if your $1,000 phone can handle being sat on? He’s got you covered. Curious about whether it scratches at a Level 6 or a Level 7? He’s your guy (and yes, there’s always a deeper groove at Level 7). By the end of each video, you feel oddly educated and vaguely guilty for laughing as a poor phone gets bent in half. It’s the perfect mix of nerdy engineering and tech carnage, and you can’t help but come back for more.
mClassic video enhancers: “What’s the point?!”
I try really hard to see the differences and understand why these three mClassic products exist. They do some cool upscaling and anti-aliasing but then the new modes are bizarre and inconsistent. Often I just don’t see the point. https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/mclassic-rgb-collection#/
8-Bit Guy: How Atari 8-Bit Computers Work!
The classic Atari 8-bit computers were the ’80s equivalent of a mullet: business up front, party in the back. Designed to handle both serious computing and wild gaming adventures, they came in models like the Atari 400 (the “starter pack”) and the Atari 800 (the “big boss”). These machines looked so sleek for their time that you’d half expect them to transform into a DeLorean if you pressed the right key combination. With their vibrant graphics and bleepy-bloopy soundtracks, they made even the most mundane spreadsheet tasks feel like they were happening in a disco-themed galaxy far, far away.
But let’s talk quirks. The Atari 400 had a keyboard that was basically a glorified sheet of plastic—great for wiping off crumbs, not so great for typing anything longer than your name without cramping up. The Atari 800, on the other hand, boasted actual keys and expansion slots, which made you feel like you were piloting the Starship Enterprise. And then there were the peripherals: cassette drives that took ages to load a game (but hey, what’s an extra 20 minutes for Donkey Kong?), and floppy disks that weren’t as floppy as their name suggested. Yet despite their quirks, Atari 8-bit computers were beloved for their versatility, pioneering features, and their uncanny ability to turn a living room into a techno wonderland. You didn’t just own an Atari—you joined a club of pixel pioneers who knew how to have fun in 8-bit style.
Retro Gaming has Changed… Some Good & Some Bad.
Retro gaming today feels like a vibrant flea market where nostalgia is the currency, and everyone’s bartering for pixelated memories. The cartridges you blew into as a kid are now museum pieces selling for the price of a used car, while CRT TVs—those big, boxy beasts—are treated like ancient artifacts from a lost civilization. It’s as if the gaming gods decreed, “Thou shalt not emulate,” leading purists to hunt for original hardware with the fervor of Indiana Jones searching for the Holy Grail. Meanwhile, Millennials and Gen Xers proudly display their modest retro collections, only to have Gen Z ask, “Wow, is that an NFT?” No, young one, that’s an N64.
But retro gaming is also thriving in the quirkiest of ways. Speedrunners are breaking records on 30-year-old games, while modders give Mario the ability to wield a lightsaber or, inexplicably, turn him into Shrek. Modern re-releases and mini consoles cater to the “conveniently nostalgic,” though good luck finding an NES Classic without signing over your soul (or at least your Netflix subscription). And let’s not forget the arcade renaissance, where grown adults spend their evenings competitively button-mashing to Pac-Man, fueled by overpriced craft beer and a burning desire to relive high school glory days. Retro gaming isn’t just alive—it’s a chaotic, pixel-packed soap opera, and we’re all here for the drama.
Looks like your car might be the ultimate snitch.
Buckle up, folks—this is a story every driver needs to hear. Turns out, automakers might be playing backseat driver with your data, allegedly tracking your every turn and then spilling the tea to insurance companies. The plot twist? Some drivers claim their premiums went up faster than their speedometers, all without proper consent. So much for “what happens in your car, stays in your car”!
“Keeping our customers’ data safe is a top priority” is corporate speak for “OOOPS We got CAUGHT and because we could get SUED by millions and potentially lose customers, we’ll MAYBE do something about it”
2024 Holiday Gift Guide – Controllers, Arcades, Handhelds & More!
My 2024 Holiday gift and shopping guide! 17 gaming products I recommend including controllers, handhelds, arcade machines, travel cases & more!
Products Mentioned: (I earn a commission on some purchases from affiliate links)
Xbox Controller: https://amzn.to/49qTJWg
Kirby Wireless: https://amzn.to/49npOhO
PlayStation Mantis Controller: https://amzn.to/41rXRmW
Retro Fighter BattlerGC: https://amzn.to/3BnVdnG
Pixel Art Hyperkin (Sriracha & Oscar Myer) : https://hyperkinstore.com
Switch Controller Charger: https://amzn.to/3Bij20i
Headset Mario Kart: https://amzn.to/4go7bMT
PlayStation Portal: https://amzn.to/4gmWaLS
Switches cases: https://amzn.to/3ZqdMj6
Quarter Arcades – Elevator Action: https://amzn.to/3ZHkaEd
Quarter Arcades – Bubble Bobble: https://amzn.to/3ZEcgew
Quarter Arcades – Qix: https://quarterarcades.com
Arcade Pole Position My Arcade: https://amzn.to/4g1Eh5w
Arcade Pac-Man My Arcade: https://amzn.to/3P2mlw1
Ultimate Nintendo Guide to N64 Library (BOOK): https://t.co/nPohS1swwZ
Anbernic Handhelds: https://toretro.com
Grid Frame Studio: https://gridstudio.cc