Restoring Apple’s fastest classic Mac (Mac IIfx)

The Apple Macintosh IIfx was Apple’s way of saying, “Why settle for fast when you can have fast for 1990?” Nicknamed the “Wicked Fast” Mac, this beast was to other computers of its time what a Ferrari is to a grocery store parking lot: completely unnecessary but irresistibly cool.

Powered by a 40 MHz Motorola 68030 processor, the IIfx was Apple’s speed demon, complete with a pair of custom I/O processors to handle things like floppy drives and serial ports. That’s right—it needed extra chips to manage the hard work of talking to printers and loading Oregon Trail. In 1990, that was like having a butler for your butler.

Its speed wasn’t cheap. The IIfx launched at a wallet-busting $12,000, which in today’s money is enough to buy a decent used car—or 50 Chromebooks. It was so exclusive that Apple practically issued you a monocle and a smoking jacket when you bought one. Rumor has it they even considered shipping it with a complimentary cup of artisan espresso.

But what did you get for that princely sum? A computer that could handle up to 128 MB of RAM, which was more memory than most people could comprehend needing back then. It was also packed with custom black-tantalum capacitors, which sounded so fancy you’d think the IIfx was moonlighting as a James Bond gadget.

Of course, it wasn’t all glamour. It ran System 6 or 7, meaning it could crash just as spectacularly as its slower cousins. But hey, at least it could do it faster! And let’s not forget the “affordable” peripherals like its $3,000 monitor, which was practically mandatory unless you wanted to experience 40 MHz of raw power on a green monochrome display.

In short, the Macintosh IIfx was the computer equivalent of a Lamborghini in a world of Honda Civics. It screamed “overkill” and “status symbol” louder than a dot-matrix printer, and for that, it remains a glorious relic of the early ‘90s tech arms race.

MSI Claw 8 Ai+ Runs Cyberpunk 2077 With Ray Tracing Set To ULTRA!

; C64 Assembly for Simulated Ray Casting
; This simulates a 2D “ray tracing” effect
; Reality: It’s just rendering basic ray-cast walls in 2D space

.org $0801 ; Program start for BASIC SYS
.word $080A, 0 ; Link for BASIC
.byte $9E ; SYS opcode
.asc “2061” ; SYS 2061 (to start at $080D)
.byte 0

start:
lda #$00 ; Clear screen
jsr $E544

ldx #$00 ; Set X position of rays
loop_cast:
jsr raycast ; Call raycasting subroutine
inx
cpx #40 ; Loop for 40 columns (screen width)
bne loop_cast

rts ; End program

raycast:
lda #$00 ; Initialize distance
sta distance
lda #$FF ; Set max wall brightness
sta brightness

ldy #0 ; Loop for rays
loop_ray:
lda (ray_pos), y ; Simulate a ray calculation
cmp wall_distance
bcc render_pixel ; If hit, render pixel
iny
cpy #100 ; Max ray length
bne loop_ray

rts ; Ray missed

render_pixel:
lda brightness ; Brightness decay
sta screen_buffer,x ; Draw pixel
rts

distance:
.byte $00 ; Placeholder for distance
brightness:
.byte $FF ; Placeholder for brightness

screen_buffer:
.res 1000, $00 ; Space for screen buffer
wall_distance:
.byte $10 ; Fake wall distance

Old School Vs New: Time Pilot Comparisons!

Time Pilot is the arcade game that asks, “What if history class was taught by a caffeine-addicted fighter pilot with no regard for timelines or physics?” Released by Konami in 1982, it throws you into the cockpit of a futuristic jet with the sole purpose of traveling through time and shooting everything that dares to move. Why? Who knows! Time is a flat circle, and you’ve got unlimited ammo.

Each level catapults you into a new era where you face increasingly bizarre enemies. Start with biplanes in 1910—no big deal, they’re just thrilled they’ve figured out how to fly. Then fast-forward to World War II, where you’re dogfighting against slightly angrier pilots in more advanced planes. By the time you’re battling UFOs in the year 2001 (which looked way cooler in 1982), you’re questioning whether this is a mission or an existential crisis.

The controls are smooth, the action is chaotic, and the logic is nonexistent. Why is your jet immune to time travel paradoxes? How does shooting a certain number of enemies summon a giant boss blimp? Why do you have an endless supply of bullets but no snacks? These are questions Time Pilot doesn’t care to answer, because who needs logic when you’ve got explosions?

It’s a game where history, sci-fi, and arcade chaos collide—and somehow, your biggest enemy is gravity because there’s always a stray bullet with your name on it. Perfect for anyone who’s ever looked at the history of aviation and thought, “This needs more dogfights and fewer rules.”

The End of LGR Donation Videos

Lazy Game Reviews (LGR) is like the Indiana Jones of retro tech, except instead of dodging boulders, he’s dodging compatibility issues on Windows 98. Clint Basinger, the mastermind behind LGR, brings a charming mix of nostalgia, nerdiness, and dry humor as he dives into the quirks of vintage computers, classic games, and obsolete gadgets that time (and everyone else) forgot.

Imagine a guy who can spend 15 minutes passionately discussing a beige desktop case and somehow make it fascinating. Clint is the kind of person who gets visibly excited about unboxing a new old stock Sound Blaster card and probably dreams in 640×480 resolution. His love for The Sims is borderline religious, and his “Thrift Store Hauls” are like treasure hunts where the treasure is an ancient keyboard that weighs more than your dog.

His tone? Calm, soothing, and perfect for when you want to be lulled into a false sense of “Wow, I didn’t know I needed to know about MS-DOS that much.” And let’s not forget his glorious “Woodgrain” aesthetic obsession, which might as well be his spirit animal.

In short, Clint is the guy who’ll convince you that the pinnacle of human innovation was a 486 PC, all while sipping Dr Pepper and making you wonder why you suddenly want to collect floppy disks.

Troy Baker: The Hardest Part of making Indiana Jones and the Great Circle

Troy Baker is like the Swiss Army knife of voice acting—if the Swiss Army knife were ridiculously charismatic and could sing like an indie rock star. This guy doesn’t just “play a role”; he becomes the role. Need a brooding antihero with a heart of gold? He’s Joel from The Last of Us. Want a flamboyant villain who radiates chaos? He’s Pagan Min from Far Cry 4. Oh, and don’t forget Booker DeWitt in BioShock Infinite—because apparently, existential crises sound better in his voice.

He’s also one of those rare voice actors who can make you laugh, cry, and question your life choices in a single scene. And if he’s not stealing the show in a video game, he’s probably serenading a room full of fans with his guitar because, yes, of course, he’s also a musician. Honestly, the guy’s talent feels like a glitch in the matrix—someone nerf him already!

In summary, Troy Baker is what happens when you max out charisma, talent, and versatility in a character creator and then break the game.

Pat the NES Punk is a total SHILL & Pathetic

Pat used to be the hero, the one who stuck it to “The Man.” But now? Oh, Pat’s slapping logos on everything, from socks to sandwich bags. It’s like watching a punk rock star start selling used cars. “But they’re eco-friendly!” Pat says, holding up a toothpaste sponsorship deal. We’re onto you, Pat. You traded your ideals for cash—and maybe a free toaster. Shill of the century? Nah, Pat’s too busy monetizing his apology tour to even care.

Heavy Metal Christmas Santa! 🤘

Heavy Metal Christmas Santa! 🤘

Santa’s Heavy Metal Sleigh
(A Christmas Carol in Rock ‘n’ Roll)

Up at the North Pole, on a frosty night,
Santa’s workshop glows in the pale moonlight.
But inside the shed, there’s a thunderous roar,
Santa’s shredding riffs like never before!

Rockin’ reindeer, bang your heads,
Santa’s sleigh is painted red!
Heavy metal fills the skies,
Jingle bells with power cries!

He’s got a six-string axe with candy cane stripes,
Elves on the drums bringing hardcore vibes.
Rudolph’s nose is a blazing red stage light,
As Santa shreds solos, it’s a Christmas fright!

Rockin’ reindeer, bang your heads,
Santa’s sleigh is painted red!
Heavy metal fills the skies,
Jingle bells with power cries!

From chimney to chimney, his amps do wail,
Delivering gifts with a fiery trail.
The stockings shake, the halls do quake,
Santa’s metal spirit, for goodness’ sake!

The kids hear his sleigh and a power chord scream,
It’s not just a dream, it’s a metalhead’s dream!
Santa roars, “Merry Christmas to all tonight,
And may your holidays be loud and bright!”

Rockin’ reindeer, bang your heads,
Santa’s sleigh is painted red!
Heavy metal fills the skies,
Jingle bells with power cries!

So if you hear a riff as the snowflakes fall,
It’s Santa Claus rocking to the Christmas call.
Raise your horns, let the carols play,
And headbang with Santa on his heavy sleigh!

BLADE RUNNER for Commodore 64 (1985) Review

Blade Runner on the Commodore 64 was like watching a sci-fi blockbuster through the lens of an 8-bit kaleidoscope—and somehow still loving every minute of it. Released in 1985, this unofficial game was a loose interpretation of the iconic movie, meaning you didn’t exactly feel like Deckard hunting replicants; you felt more like Deckard’s cousin, running a weird intergalactic taxi service. The game’s visual style was pure pixel art magic (for its time), with your “car” flying across a futuristic cityscape that looked like it was designed by a very enthusiastic Etch A Sketch artist.

The gameplay? Pure chaos. You piloted a spinner through Los Angeles 2019 (a very optimistic 1980s take on our future), dodging obstacles and shooting down enemy ships with controls so slippery, they made you question if gravity still existed in this dystopian world. The sound effects were classic Commodore 64 bleep-bloops, though it occasionally felt like your computer was imitating a stressed-out robot. And while there wasn’t much of a storyline, fans still appreciated its effort to capture the movie’s vibe—if by “vibe” you mean “Let’s make it fast, flashy, and a little confusing.” It might not have been a faithful adaptation, but Blade Runner on the C64 had a scrappy charm that made it a cult classic. It’s like the bootleg VHS of games—janky but weirdly endearing.

JerryRigEverything SCRATCHES the HELL OUT OF the Chromatic Game Boy handheld 😂

JerryRigEverything is like the MythBusters of tech, except the only myth being tested is, “Can this phone survive Zach’s wrath?” Hosted by Zach Nelson, the channel specializes in putting the latest gadgets through a torture test so extreme it feels like watching a Saw movie for smartphones. He wields his razor blade like a tech-savvy samurai, scratching, burning, and bending devices with the kind of calm demeanor that makes you wonder if he’s secretly auditioning for the next James Bond villain.

But it’s not all destruction; there’s an oddly satisfying science to it. Zach’s soothing voice explains the chaos as he systematically destroys your dream gadget, all in the name of “durability.” Want to know if your $1,000 phone can handle being sat on? He’s got you covered. Curious about whether it scratches at a Level 6 or a Level 7? He’s your guy (and yes, there’s always a deeper groove at Level 7). By the end of each video, you feel oddly educated and vaguely guilty for laughing as a poor phone gets bent in half. It’s the perfect mix of nerdy engineering and tech carnage, and you can’t help but come back for more.

Retro Gaming with a Heavy Metal Soundtrack